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Act III · The Front Page


The Harbor City Ledger

“All the news that mattered to exactly two people”


Vol. I · No. 1 · Sunday EditionPrice: priceless, obviously

LOCAL WOMAN CONQUERS WALL, WITNESS 'STILL RECOVERING'

Forty feet in under four minutes; onlooker reportedly cheered loudly enough to draw staff attention

The ascent, as witnessed. Artist's rendering; the photographer's hands were reportedly 'too busy applauding.'

HARBOR CITY — What began as an unassuming Saturday evening escalated, by all accounts, into the stuff of local legend, when Riley — climbing for what she insisted was 'basically the first time' — topped the forty-foot wall at Harbor Climbing Hall while her companion abandoned all pretense of composure below.

'I have never seen anything like it,' said Sam, who had, by his own admission, seen people climb walls before. 'This was different. Ask anyone who was there.' (This reporter notes that everyone who was there has been asked, and both agree.)

The evening proceeded to Little Fern, where sources confirm the debrief ran ninety minutes over schedule, two desserts were declared 'shared' and were not, and the question of who climbed better was settled unanimously in Riley's favor, over one objection raised and immediately withdrawn.